10 Questions with Jan Lundy

1. Who do you mean by “your truest self?”

Our truest self is a woman who is living from her fullness, not from her pain or woundedness. She is living large, free from fear to express herself in the world as the confident, glorious woman she is. She has fully embodied the qualities we attribute to Spirit itself—peacefulness, loving kindness, generosity, and so on. She lives a mature spirituality, not one that has been handed to her without having fully explored it first. Living as our truest self is a lifelong process. It is a journey, a pilgrimage, into our sacred self, into the heart and mind of the Divine as it is revealed to each one of us.

2. So how does a woman embody her truest self?

Each of us begins where we are. We set an intention to live in a new way, a way that honors the woman we are meant to be. We begin by acknowledging that we are spiritual beings, then vow to do everything we can to cultivate our divine connection. Part of this journey is to let go of old, disempowering messages about who we’ve been told we are. It involves embracing new personal Truths and exploring how we can connect more fully with our spirit, and the greater Spirit, or God. I call these Transformational Truths and there are twelve of them featured in the book.

3. How did you come up with these Truths?

They were not something I consciously sat down to create. They were Truths that seemed to emerge as a result of meeting some truly amazing women, the twelve women featured in this book. My unique encounter with each one of these women revealed a powerful precept for living that any woman of any faith can incorporate into her life.

4. So you had an encounter or conversation with each of these powerful women and they revealed a Truth to you to share with others?

No, not really. It happened in a completely different and remarkable way. Over the last ten years, as my spiritual journey deepened, I serendipitously met each one of these women. Or came across her work exactly when I needed it the most. For example, when I was confused about who or what God was to me, I just happened to stumble across a book called A Star in My Heart by Joyce Rupp, OSM. I had never heard of her before and was stunned to find out she had struggled with this issue, too. In fact, that very book was about her search for an authentic woman-friendly spirituality. When the premise for Your Truest Self came together, I thought of Joyce and how her story had given me permission to explore my spirituality in a new “out-of-the-box” way. Ten years later, I finally had the opportunity as a magazine editor to interview her. As a result, a singular Truth organically emerged from our conversation: “I am free to live a spiritual life of my own making.” This became the first Transformational Truth. I believe it is the stepping off place for any of us who desire to live as our truest self.

5. How then do these Truths apply if every woman’s spiritual path is different and unique?

The Truths, I believe, are universal. They apply to all people in all times from all spiritual persuasions. That, to me, was one of the most profound bits of awareness that came as a result of meeting each of the women in the book. They were from a wide variety of religious backgrounds, both Western and Eastern traditions and yet, they were all so similar. Each woman could have represented any one of the Truths herself. This is because each woman was so embodied—successfully living as her sacred self with great joy, inner peace, and love, in service of others. Of course, each has done so in a unique way through her own spirituality and life expression— as a writer, artist, musician, talk show host, environmental activist, scientist, therapist, and so on.

6. Was there one woman in particular whose life expression touched you most deeply?

Perhaps Native American artist, Michelle Tsosie Sisneros, was the most emotional. I think I cried through our entire telephone conversation. I had met her at art shows in the southwest U.S. and I was drawn to her artistic renderings of women. When I learned about her personal journey of recovery from abuse and alcohol addiction, one that took thirty-eight years, I was stunned. Here was this woman who was living a very traditional life on a Pueblo reservation, who just radiated her God-given glory, then to learn of her suffering and long road to recovery, well, I was just overwhelmed with emotion. And respect, of course, for her as a woman who was doing the daily work of reclaiming herself and her life as sacred. What the testimony of Michelle’s life says to me is that each of us can overcome hardship, pain, and sorrow to live from our fullness. She reminds me that “I can create my life anew each day.” That is the ninth Transformational Truth.

7. What do you believe is the most difficult Truth for a woman to incorporate into her life and why?

Truth number five: “I cultivate compassion for myself.” This Truth is represented by Sue Patton Thoele, a dear friend and mentor. I found her in my early searching years when I was absolutely overwhelmed with life. I was sick and tired—literally—from living on the fast track, trying to be the perfect wife and mother, and just about killing myself trying to make everyone around me happy. Sue’s book, The Courage to Be Myself, helped me break that pattern. But it took years to learn how to be kind to myself, to treat myself as nicely as I treated other people. This is a very, very difficult thing for women to learn. This is because we are hard-wired to nurture and care for everyone but ourselves. In fact, if we do, we’re often considered selfish or self-centered. In order to connect with our truest self, we must learn to have compassion for ourselves, to treat ourselves lovingly, and live more gently.

8. Are the Transformational Truths linear, meaning something we need to cultivate in order?

Yes and no. Upon speaking with each woman, I discovered there were Truths that seemed to be more difficult to live out, particularly having compassion for others. We can’t feel love and compassion for others if we are not able to feel that for ourselves. Learning to accept and love ourselves as we are must come first.

On the other hand, the spiritual journey itself is not linear. That is the Truth that body/mind scientist Dr. Joan Borysenko represented to me: “I trust the divine timing of my own unfolding.” Our spiritual lives are not really within our control, no matter how much we would like to think they are. We do have the power of choice through free will, but much of what comes into our life—people and circumstances—cannot be explained. We don’t understand how or why certain things happen. The Divine One, God, is at work in our lives in mysterious ways, and part of living as our truest self is accepting and surrendering to that.

9. How have the women featured in this book impacted you personally?

When I first began the interview process in 2004, I was very nervous. I had put these women on pedestals, regarded them as women to be adored. What I learned was that each one was a regular woman just like me, with many insecurities and issues to be healed, even the most famous like Naomi Judd or Iyanla Vanzant. Their radiant selves showed me where I was still falling into the trap of insecurity, low self-esteem, or the fear of living my beliefs publicly. I learned that each one had struggled with these same issues. By perseverance, faith, and acts of grace they overcame them. Any of us can.

10. Is there one major point you hope the reader will take from this book?

Yes. I hope every woman will someday come to understand that she truly is a sacred being, no matter what anyone (or authoritative body) tells her. That she is glorious and wonderful, a walking glimmer of God on the face of the earth. I hope and pray that she will begin to trust her unique divine connection and live that fully, boldly, in the world for all to see. Because when we can do that, we will all begin to heal, every single one of us, and move toward a more peaceful, loving, and compassionate world. After all, isn’t that why we’re here? To make manifest the Love that is our Source, the Love that we are?